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The Onion Nails Its Elizabeth Taylor Headline

MARCH 28, 2011        TAGS: HUMOR, OBITS         ADD A COMMENT

Gorgeous 25 year-old Dead at 74

That’s it for The Onion’s take on the first lady of American cinema. To be sure, most serious obits mention Elizabeth Taylor’s beauty (ours did) and her unrivaled presence on screen. They also describe her work as an actress and perennial allure in the popular imagination and in tabloid headline. Given the other world events that occured the week she died—bombing in Libya, unfolding disaster in Japan – the media’s fixation on a pretty lady certainly can be seen as laughable.

Let’s compose some other equally dismissive one-line obits:

Geraldine Ferraro

First Women to Lose Vice Presidential Election Dies at 75

Warren Christopher

Nation’s Sole Courteous Lawyer Dies at 85

Harry Coover (this one actually works)

Super Glue Inventor Dies at 94

Suze Rotolo

Non-Famous Lady on Famous Album Cover Dies at 67

Jane Russell

Actress who Tested Limits of Brassieres, Censors, Dies at 89

Jack Lalanne

Hyperactive Elderly Man Dies at 96

Your turn. Compose a quick obit headline.

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